You take a lot for granted when you’ve grown up in the woods.  Skills and traits developed as a child are so ingrained that it seems impossible other people wouldn’t have them.  Whether it’s looking for kindling in a snowy forest, instinctively knowing directions on a sunny day, or sorting out the forest sounds at night, it can be difficult to comprehend how hard it is for someone without that outdoor background to absorb the same concepts. 

This became clear to me as I started taking Daniel, Susan’s 13 year old, out for backpacking and hiking trips. He didn’t have the skills or the concepts that are part of me, and for me to teach them to him turned out to be problematic. I don’t have the skills to teach those basics; I’d never tried to teach them, and found that I would assume knowledge on his part that wasn’t there, frustrating both of us. 

But, how to solve that problem?  Clearly, for me to learn to teach the most basic skills would take so long that Daniel would lose out on valuable learning time.  Where, in our modern, rushed, paved world does someone find basic instruction for a kid who has never been outdoors? 

And then I remembered a discussion from last winter with Dan Houde of Purity Spring Resort in East Madison, NH.  We’d gone for the day to enjoy their eclectic range of winter sports available for a single ticket price, and Dan showed us around.  Part of the discussion centered on their summer activities, including their long-running summer camp for boys.  Could that be a solution to our problem? 

A call to Dan led to  a discussion with Andrew Mahoney, director of Camp Tohkomeupog at Purity Spring.  Andrew was remarkably calm and cheerful about taking on a camper with no experience in the woods; that’s what they teach, and he was confident that they could take Daniel to the next level.  And, lucky for us, they had an opening in the last session of the summer.  At the end of July, off went Daniel for a 2 week session; would we see a different boy come home two weeks later? 

Dropping Daniel off at camp was a remarkably smooth process; the staff at “Tohko”, as it’s commonly called, is experienced, relaxed, and friendly.  Everyone from Andrew to the camp nurse to Noah, the counselor in the cabin with Daniel, was eager to make us feel at home.  This is a small-group camp; with a counselor to every half dozen kids, offering constant supervision, support, and instruction.  We walked away excited for Daniel; it was clear that the opportunities for him were phenomenal.  Would he take advantage of them? 

The first challenge he would face, in fact, was trying to learn to pronounce “Tohkomeupog”.  There’s a reason they generally call it Tohko!  In fact, it’s pronounced “Toe-KAH-mew-pawg” (it only took me about 20 tries to get it right).  The word literally means “pure spring water”.  Fitting, given the name of the resort.  Water is integral to the camp experience; one of the requirements, and a big challenge for Daniel, is being able to complete a swim in their private lake to Pine Point, where a pine tree stands on a spit well out in the lake, and back.  A weak swimmer, Daniel had been afraid of getting far from shore, so this was a mental as well as a physical challenge.  Without managing that, he’d be unable to enjoy a lot of the other watersports; kayaking and canoeing are conditioned on being able to prove that you’re a solid swimmer. 

Another concern was simply that this was Daniel’s first time away from home for an extended period.  Homesickness is normal; would the staff at Tohko be able to handle it if it came up for him?  We asked the question of several staffers, and got consistent, immediate answers…they actually expect homesickness, and take steps to give campers an easy solution without any sense of shame.  In fact, that was a consistent theme; they help campers overcome whatever their own weaknesses are without ever feeling ashamed that they aren’t up to some unknown standard.  That’s a powerful message to an adolescent! So much of what they face every day makes them feel inadequate, and being taught that it’s normal and acceptable to not know everything, not be able to do everything, can give a great boost to their self-confidence. 

The plan was to have minimal contact with him during the two weeks, then go for Parents’ Day, spend the night over that way, and pick him up the following day and head for home.  But, by the end of the first week, we got a call.  He’d been talking to some of the kids who had been to camp before, and there was one more week of camp after his two; could he stay?  Shocked and thrilled, we asked the camp staff it there was room for him, and sure enough there was.  Clearly, the “homesick” issue had been minimal, and dealt with brilliantly by the counselors! 

A week later, to Parents’ Day we went, eager to see how things had gone.  And there was Daniel, looking tan and…well, taller. Had he actually grown, or was he just carrying himself differently?  (We later confirmed that he had, in fact, NOT grown; when we got him home and put him against the wall, the mark was the same as before). He took us around the camp, connecting with other campers and counselors easily and confidently.  And he flew up the steep hill to his cabin, which he’d taken slowly two weeks before.  Clearly stronger in both his body and his self-confidence, he was eager to take us to the waterfront for the afternoon swimming session. 

There, we found that he had, in fact, passed his swimming test with flying colors!  From the first day, they’d had him in the water, working on increasing his strength, skill, and stamina.  On day two, they sent him on his way to Pine Point. As Daniel later told us, it was a lot more difficult than he thought it would be, but he made it.  By now, though, swimming to that far-off point wasn’t impossible or even difficult for him anymore; the boy who could barely dogpaddle was practicing different crawl strokes, breast stroke, and even the butterfly.  And, the boy who wouldn’t jump off a dock delighted in showing us his leap from the high board.  Changes within changes! 

Swim session over, we sat and talked about what else he’d been doing.  Archery was a big point; he’d done it some in the past and enjoyed it, so took it to the next level at Tohko. He’d earned a “Bowman” designation for marksmanship at 20 yards, a major step forward.  Hiking, as well, had been a focus for him, joining other campers in climbing Mount Jefferson, one of New Hampshire’s 4000 footers.  Beyond that, though, they’d worked with him on basics; firebuilding and firestarting, setting up tents, cooking over a campfire, learning to use a classic Coleman white gas stove safely (Followup:  Daniel’s birthday was in April, 8 months after camp ended.  We gave him a Coleman stove, and without even looking at the instructions, he ran it perfectly. Clearly, he’d LEARNED what they showed him…impressive!). They also allowed him to make his own mistakes and learn from them, as long as they weren’t actively dangerous; for instance, on his first overnight camping, he brought a sleeping bag but not a pad for underneath, and learned that the ground is not only hard, but lumpy.  So much for sleep that night…but is he likely to ever forget a sleeping pad again?  Doubtful. 

We left Tohko and headed home, happy that he’d learned so much, excited that he wanted to stay for another week…and wondering just how much the experience would change him.  Sure, he was learning, and acting differently than he had at home, but would those changes stick…or were they superficial, the lessons easily lost? 

A week later, we picked Daniel up, and heard about the last week of camp, which is a little different than the rest.  Since they’re getting ready to end the summer season, the focus is less on learning and training, and more on simply enjoying each other’s company.  Rather than climb another mountain, they headed for the beach, or to Portland to watch a Sea Dogs baseball game.  He’d clearly enjoyed that final week…or so it seemed from what we could get out of him before he started snoring in the back seat.  Over the next few days we learned about “camp hangover”.  After three weeks of activity, sleeping in a cold cabin, and constant change, he pretty much slept for the next three days.  Once he emerged from his coma, though, he was eager to talk about his experiences.  And, he was more willing to try different activities at home.  There was a definite sense of energy that hadn’t been there before he headed off to camp.  Bizarrely, though, when he headed back to school, the lessons he’d learned at camp seemed to disappear.  Work habits, particularly negative ones, resurfaced; social interactions were less positive than what we’d seen at camp.  Back in an environment that he’d been in for years, he dropped back into his “place”.  Disappointing, but predictable. 

However, as the fall term went by, we (and his teachers) started seeing changes.  Rather than ducking assignments, he was completing them; in a parent/teacher conference, he spoke confidently and assessed his own strengths and weaknesses honestly and accurately.  By the end of the term, his grades were his best ever. Teachers were commenting on how well he was taking responsibility for getting his work done, and what a change they were seeing from the beginning of the year. Clearly, a different sense of “self” was beginning to assert itself, a more positive, take-charge attitude coming to the fore. 

And, his outdoors activies at Tohko clearly made an impression on him.  He was eager to show off his firestarting skills in the backyard firepit. Yes, he actually had the basics down solidly.  More important than specific skills, though, is a general sense of “I can do this” that shows up in various areas of his life.  In reality, for most of us woodsmanship is a combination of actual knowledge and a feeling that we CAN do things. Understanding the process of making a fire and feeling confident that we can follow the steps translates to confidence in setting up a camp, cooking, you name it. If you know you can follow a process in the woods, you can more easily take on a new one.  If you know that you can climb a 4000 foot mountain, you’re more likely to say “yes” to a trip up a 3000 footer with a backpack on.  Daniel’s confidence is extending to other areas of the outdoors, as well.  His eagerness to ski this winter, and to take on more difficult trails, is very different from last year. 

Now, this isn’t a scientific survey; we don’t have a large sample size to compare.  But, we have years of experience with Daniel, and the changes we’re seeing are dramatically accelerated from what we’d expect from a few months of added age.  And, they’re consistent in their effect.  Stronger sense of self, greater ability to admit weaknesses, more willingness to work on improving and minimizing the effects of those weaknesses…all of those are becoming more consistent.  Has the boy become a man?  No, nor would we really want him to, at least not yet.  But are we seeing habits that will make a better adult?  Oh, yes! And the changes we’re seeing now at home and school look like what we saw that Parents’ Day at camp. It seems that Tohko gave him something beyond the basic outdoors skills.  It set him on a path to see himself more clearly, and to like where he’s taking himself.  Time will tell how deeply these changes have ingrained themselves in him.  But there’s no question that three weeks at summer camp did put this particular boy on a faster track to becoming a man, and particularly an outdoorsman.